Torch - Spring 2018

The idea is not to eliminate opportunities for disappointment or smooth over the consequences of failure. It’s to focus on the development of flexibility and hardiness. It’s to foster a toughness of spirit with mental suppleness. Losses are a certainty in life, but resilience is not. That’s what we’re teaching when we expect students to be responsible for themselves, experience the natural consequences of mistakes, solve their own problems and advocate for their best interests—all with the support and guidance of adults who understand child development and believe that kids are capable. In the Junior School, our focus on developing resilience begins with teaching the language and habits of self-regulation. Girls learn to recognize their emotions, reflect on where they come from and make a plan to go forward. As they become better at monitoring and controlling their thoughts and feelings, they also become more adept at managing the various demands of the world. They can calm themselves down when upset, develop greater impulse control and locate their motivation for success within themselves— rather than outwardly in pleasing parents or teachers. As further support, Junior School teachers engage students in mindfulness practices to help the girls understand themselves more deeply. Students use breathing techniques when checking in with themselves: Where am I? How am I? They may use their mindfulness strategies before a test to achieve a state of calm or afterward if they’re worried about their performance. They learn

how to quiet their minds and bodies before or after strenuous events, including conflict with others. In addition, students often work with teachers as a way toward developing greater self-regulation. They identify a few personal challenges for the year, come up with a plan to address them, identify the markers of success and assess themselves as they proceed. They are coached by their teachers to set realistic goals and apply themselves in reaching them. Goal-setting is an incremental step along the path toward self-reliance. Because Havergal focuses as much on academic excellence as on personal development, it’s essential for students to know themselves, reflect on their identities, plan for big challenges and set goals for their future. We spend a lot of time helping students in the Junior School understand that greater self-regulation leads to greater life success, including in academics. The ability to understand and control thoughts and feelings improves attention, working memory and impulse control, all of which lead to better academic achievement. Self-regulation also helps students to bounce back from disappointment. They can navigate through a poor test result, a forgotten assignment or a loss on the field without catastrophizing or becoming defeatist. Instead, their message to themselves is: I’ll be okay; I have what it takes; I can try again . They can get back on their feet. They can bend without breaking.

Photography Club members experiment with different techniques.

TABLE OF CONTENTS | SPRING 2018 • TORCH 13

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