Torch - Spring 2018

Message from School Leaders

Weathering Life’s Storms The resilience that protects students against adversity must be taught

By Michael Simmonds and Kate White

“ Human resilience is not innate—it is a learned trait. As a school, we consider it essential for thriving.

“ Dr. Michael Simmonds, Vice Principal School Life & Operations and Kate White, Interim Head of Junior School. not innate—it is a learned trait. As a school, we consider it essential for thriving. Consider the behaviours of a resilient student: she overcomes disappointment, learns from her failures, perseveres when faced with difficulty, copes with loss, becomes an adept problem-solver, believes in her own competence and finds the positive in life. These traits do not guarantee the highest test scores or admission to the best university, but they do ensure that students don’t feel easily overwhelmed, fear hard work, blame others for their mistakes, lack confidence in solving their own problems or adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms. The world has changed. Children are less likely to play outside until the street lights come on or engage in games they have created themselves. They are more likely to be supervised and programmed. While there is nothing wrong with joining the local soccer league, there is evidence that today’s kids live within a narrower social world—and emotional spectrum—than in the past. Given that healthy emotional development requires risk, misadventure, conflict and failure, it is short-sighted to deprive them of these experiences.

Y ou may be familiar with a Japanese proverb about bamboo. There are a few translations, but here is one version: “The winds may fell the massive oak, but bamboo, bent even to the ground, will spring upright after the passage of the storm.” Despite its somewhat delicate appearance, bamboo’s flexibility provides it with a toughness that heavier substances lack. Building engineers refer to this as tensile strength, which is the amount of stress or stretching a material can withstand before breaking. Bamboo has a greater tensile strength than steel. We often define a strong person as unyielding in response to external forces. Certainly, inner strength is rooted or anchored to a person’s family, culture and values, but research tells us that personal resilience comes with flexibility. The oak, rigid and intractable, is broken in a storm. The bamboo stands tall again once the wind tires itself out. At Havergal, we help our students to develop like the bamboo by focusing on resilience, which is the capacity to bounce back from adversity and adapt to change. Think of it as mental and emotional tensile strength. Unlike the bamboo, however, human resilience is

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