Torch - Spring 2016

“ Private moments are

particularly important for learning about good decision-making because they often require girls to consider several values at once—a kind of moral triangulation.

“

Kindergarten students create a medical centre for their dolls.

Private moments are particularly important for learning about good decision-making because they often require girls to consider several values at once—a kind of moral triangulation. An obvious example is when a girl is a bystander to bullying. It takes inquiry to understand what is happening, integrity to know what’s right, compassion to care enough to help and courage to do something about it. A more subtle, everyday example might look like this: A top student is at home putting the finishing touches on her math assignment when she receives a text from a friend: “stuck on #8—can I c urs” followed by the confused emoji. She stares at the screen as her mind fills with thoughts: I worked hard on this; she’s my friend; helping others is good; cheating is wrong; it’s only one problem; no one will know; I wish she hadn’t asked. Then she texts back, “let’s ft.” Once on FaceTime, she asks, “OK, where did you get to?” She then spends 20 minutes helping her friend understand the concept. By talking instead of sending a photo of her solution, she maintains her integrity, shows courage by not going along with the request of

planning, compassion in the complex web of social relations, courage when a girl expresses a difference of opinion and integrity when she chooses doing the hard thing over taking the easy way out. Away from the limelight, there are hundreds of private moments that occur daily when our girls have to find their own way, and yet we have a role to play in them, too. In what circumstances do we leave a student to sort something out for herself? When does she need a helping hand? When is it time to involve her peers or parents? In the Junior School, a teacher might sit with two girls at recess to help them resolve a disagreement by having them use our core values to assess their actions. In the older grades, a counsellor or advisor could help a teen resolve her anxiety about university program choices by helping her reflect on what matters most to her. And on both sides of the bridge, students who struggle with behaviour might visit with either of us to talk about how they can make decisions that are more productive and considerate.

12  HAVERGAL COLLEGE