Torch - Fall/Winter 2019-20

TABLE OF CONTENTS

ANNUAL REPORT

Grade 9 students participate in group activities in their Houses on Orientation Day (left). A new Junior School student and parent meet HC faculty on Orientation Day (right).

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Most important, in our view, is that Orientation Day is when our new students have their fullest experience yet of Havergal’s culture of kindness. We hear from girls who toured the school that it was the warmest, most welcoming place they visited. Yes, the spring events only strengthen that feeling about Havergal traditions. But here, early in September, each new girl is touched by the kindness of our student Prefects, House Captains and other student leaders who join them on their special day and set the tone for the years to come. This is a place where we hold our values dear, with compassion and courage leading the way as our new girls have their first immersive experience as Havergal students. Because it takes time to build a true sense of belonging, we continue to familiarize our new students well after Orientation Day has passed and classes are underway. Number one on our list throughout the first term is a series of check-ins with our new girls. Junior School students attend a lunch in different age groups, so the adults in their lives can see how they are doing and answer any questions they still have. It is a time to pause and reflect, and to let them know we are watching out for them. The Head of Middle School meets with every new Grade 7 student individually, and all new Senior School students are part of our first six weeks Guidance program, meeting with their Guidance Counsellors weekly and their Teacher Advisors on an individual basis. Throughout all grades, parents are also contacted to gather the view from home. We attend to the individual student this way—to each girl as an “I”—to express our commitment to personal growth and to relieve any pressure that may be building beneath the surface. With a

tendency toward perfectionism, girls can be quite adept at denying or minimizing their distress and, instead, wearing a brave face to avoid worrying parents, teachers and friends. As University of Houston researcher Brené Brown puts it, “Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval.” 2 Both checking in with new students and talking to parents about what they’re seeing and hearing at home help our girls avoid setting unrealistically high expectations of themselves. Our girls’ relational selves—the “we” that desires intimate bonds— is especially nurtured when we situate students within small groups. “ To belong is to feel that we’re not alone, that our human journey is shared and that our joys are greater and disappointments smaller together.

2 Brown, B. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead . New York: Penguin Random House, 2012.

FALL/WINTER 2019–20 • TORCH 13