The Bluestocking 2023-24

Maia Simmons Grade 12 I Don't Believe Forgiveness Exists

I don't believe forgiveness exists. Idealistically, we can forgive people and move on with our lives, although, unwittingly, we carry resentment with us. We can say to ourselves ‘I forgive them’, as if it were an affirmation, a manifestation of something, some feeling going away. Although, when we see this person, this person who we have theoretically “forgiven” our hearts plummet to the tips of our toes. Our hearts sink and for some reason we feel a wave of guilt crash over us. But what are we guilty for? Guilty for not living up to our envisioned manifestation of forgiving this person? Guilty because after all this time we simply can't let that thing go? I can't tell you not to feel it, this involuntary feeling of discomfort when you see the person you thought you forgave. All I can tell you is that forgiveness does not exist. We just forget, until we’re faced with the realization that what we thought was forgiveness was simply distance. I don't believe forgiveness exists.

50