The Bluestocking 2023-24

The twin towers are gone, and I am reaching inside my heart attempting to hold onto the pieces of them that made a home inside me, a home I have destroyed. I sit here isolated with my teeth clenched and head hung at my knees, wishing I could go back in time. Had I never tried to ask for help to keep myself safe from him, this never would have happened. It was selfish to ask for help; no one cared I was hurting: I should have kept my mouth closed. Why do I destroy everything? My mouth has been sewed shut, each stitch a piercing reminder of my mistakes. I have learned now not to ask for help; I have to ‘grow up’ and deal with challenges on my own. She was eleven. I am grown now, but that scared child left alone in the rubble has made a home inside of me now. I protect her now. People say the best way to move forward from a traumatic event is to forget about it and move on, but I never want to forget them—our family. I never thought that I would have to continue on without them together by my side, one on each side of me. New towers stand where the twin towers once rose from the concrete streets of New York. Now, there are twin reflecting pools in the memorial plaza. The pools of water reflect the planes that continue to fly by the new towers. The new towers are a reminder that things change. Everyone remembers and feels sad that the twin towers are gone, but life continues. The plane continues to exist. The plane is different, as are the towers; things change and that’s okay.

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