The Bluestocking 2022-23

She was beginning to think she was too much of an empath, always absorbing every one else’s emotions. Take, for example, Pete, their regular courier service delivery person. Since she had launched her online business three years ago, they had become close with the second year PhD student who showed up with regularity, dropping off packages and accepting muffins in return for delivering after hours when she was on a deadline and needed a late pickup. For the last two weeks he had been at times uncom fortable and at other times much too overly enthusiastic when dropping off her usual packages. Not looking her in the eyes, and with an urgency to remove himself from her property without even answering her questions about taking muffins home for him and his girlfriend. Was there trouble in that relationship? Should she ask? It was all so exhausting sometimes. Which was why her solid relationship was often such a beacon of calm. Admittedly, she hasn’t felt like herself of late. There were vague but disturbing dreams she couldn’t shake, that almost felt like actual memories—of many people in the house, someone crying - screaming - hysterically, pill bottles, tearing off a black dress that was later drowned off their dock in a rage of emotion. Doctors’ appointments and, most unsettling, a deafening quiet. And so, so much extra room in their bed.