Chronicle 2020

PROFILES

Finding truth in mortality J ESS ICA Z IVE 2003 By Catharine Heddle 1989

Jessica Zive describes a moment last fall when she and her husband were in Yoho National Park, floating in a canoe on Emerald Lake. They marvelled at being surrounded by mountains that had been there for millions of years. “We’re here for just a tiny speck of time,” she realized at that moment. “The question is, what will we do with the brief time that we are on this earth?” The Class of 2003 graduate was mid-way through a finance degree when it dawned on her that she might be on the wrong path. Through the kindness of a supervisor, she was able to job-shadow two hospital physicians, and she became determined to follow their path. Seven years later, she had completed her business degree, upgraded her high school and university science credits, volunteered at a variety of clinics and research institutions and finished medical school. She was finally, officially, a doctor. As a family medicine resident in Buffalo, Jessica met her future husband while both were working in the ICU. He went on to become an internist, but Jessica struggled to find a specialty that suited her. Interviewing for a fellowship in palliative care, she confessed that she was often faulted for taking too much time having conversations with patients. The quality, replied her future supervisor, made Jessica perfect for the role. She found that it was true. The holistic nature

of palliative care appealed to her. “Speaking, listening, spending time with people – along with the intellectual stimulation, these were the reasons I went into medicine,” says Jessica. Today, as a palliative care physician in Toronto, she cares for people with incurable illnesses. “My darkest days were when my Mom was very ill with lymphoma,” she recalls, adding happily that her mother eventually recovered. “If those are the dark days, then all the other days are… not dark.” Her leisure time is spent with friends and family, sharing meals (often with Havergal friends) travelling, yoga, exercise and cottaging. She and her husband relax at their home in Toronto and cook together -- “the simple life,” she calls it. But Jessica says it’s her work that keeps her centred. There are sad moments, of course, but others are filled with joy. Contemplating the meaning of life may be an occupational hazard for a person who, at age 35, spends her working hours with people who are getting ready to die. “When you take care of people who are dying, you learn a lot about living,” she explains. “I know what people worry about at the end of their lives, and it’s people and relationships – that’s it. Nothing else.” “I’ve learned that you have to live each day being true to the things that are important to you,” she concludes. “For me, that’s love, health and time – three things you can’t buy.”

PHOTO: NIAMH BARRY 2009

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