Chronicle 2020

PROFILES

Getting out of your head and into the world

SONIA AGRAWAL 2002 By Alex Bittner Howard 2002

It was in her Grade 11 year that Sonia Agrawal was first diagnosed with depression. No one would have guessed (including myself, and I was one of her best friends), as Sonia was the most energetic, goofy, hilarious and optimistic girl in any classroom. In her oversized tunic and tie that was more pins than tie, Sonia was a strong academic, a member of numerous committees and teams, and a prefect in her final year. She spent the majority of her time holed up in the theatre. She was the most dependable friend (and still is!), and even when she was at her lowest, she still managed to ask you how you were doing. Depression was not something people talked about in the early 2000s, and so it was not surprising that when Sonia asked permission to speak to her classmates in Prayers about what she was experiencing, she was promptly shut down. She was devastated, but never gave up on the idea that she wanted to spread the word and share her struggle with those around her. Her perseverance paid off. It would be six more years before she was welcomed into Brenda Robson Hall to talk about her struggles with mental health, but, as she says, it was worth the wait. As she recounts that experience to me, she still gets emotional. But it’s not sadness; she is empowered, encouraged and overwhelmed with joy. She was able to deliver the talk she always wanted to a room full of girls who were not only open and receptive to listening to her journey but also, as it turned out from the lengthy Q&A afterward, desperate to share their struggles with mental health as well. Though initially not entirely sure what started it all, she later realized that the trigger was a change

in her routine and the loss of a very close friendship with two other students – carpool buddies who left to go to a different school. She simply couldn’t dig herself out of the feelings of abandonment and loss. Coming back to Havergal to share her feelings on these struggles, Sonia also shared her coping techniques: friends, family, hobbies. And they haven’t much changed in twenty years! One of her biggest tools for managing her depression is travel. As an only child, Sonia is fiercely independent and often travels solo or to meet friends halfway across the world. She was able to find a job with an international company that offers a lot of travel opportunities, allowing her to experience different cities, cultures and people. She reinvigorates her love of life and manages her depression through experiences that get her out of her head and into the world. Her most recent adventure took her to her motherland (literally, the northern Indian hill station where her mother was born and raised before coming to Canada). She spent a month working with an NGO helping solve water scarcity in the Himalayan region of Mussoorie. Learning about “what my parents left to give me anything and everything – coming to Canada, sending me to Havergal,” gave her a new perspective and a new outlook on life. “I am just so grateful for going through all the experiences of my life, including the depression.” Aware that she will forever be managing her mental health, Sonia is keen to talk about and normalize depression. She knows that finding balance in her life is crucial, so she fills her calendar with the gym, an oil painting class, dinners and concerts with friends and lots and lots of travel.

PHOTO: NIAMH BARRY 2009

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