Chronicle 2019

By Julia Stanley Weaver 1978

F rom a very young age, Margot Kay Hillman 1964 knew she was adopted. She thanks her adoptive mother for communicating this in such a positive way: by telling her that she had been specially chosen. Margot grew up in a loving home and was given many wonderful opportunities – summer camp, summer cottage, travel and a Havergal education. Life was very good. While her parents were alive, she did not want to risk hurting them by searching for her birth family, but as the years went on, she began to ask herself questions. Who did she look like? What traits did she have in common with her biological parents? By the time her own children were adults, these became topics of family discussion. Margot became increasingly interested in tracing her roots. The book My Secret Sister , which she received for Christmas in 2016, convinced her to begin the search. Her husband gave her an Ancestry DNA kit, and the hunt was on. The Ancestry DNA report, which arrived in early 2017, gave Margot two vital leads: contact information for two third cousins – Fred from Vancouver and Helen from the Port Perry area. Helen immediately suspected that she knew where Margot fit into her family – she just needed the name of Margot’s biological mother. Margot applied to a post-adoption registry, and on June 6, the letter arrived. After nearly 73 years, Margot experienced the exhilaration of knowing that she

was born Patricia Carol Swain. Helen’s hunch about Margot’s place in the family was confirmed. Margot’s story unfolded rapidly. She learned that her mother had been 16 and her father 19 when she was born in 1944. Adoption had seemed the best option. Her father is now deceased, but her mother is still alive, living in Toronto with one of her children. Helen took Margot to visit her father’s grave and showed her the house where her mother grew up. Margot now knows that she has five maternal siblings and two fraternal siblings; 20 maternal cousins and 14 paternal cousins. She has met several of them and has been welcomed into the fold. Her life has been enriched. Sadly, Margot’s birth mother, when contacted by Fred on her behalf, elected to “leave things as they are.” Margot sent her cards, letters and photographs, but received no response. Finally, at a cousin’s funeral in March, Margot saw her birth mother standing alone. They spoke briefly, and Margot gave her a hug. A special feeling, indeed! She hopes this will lead to further maternal connections. For the last two years, Margot and her husband have hosted a Christmas “Open House” for Margot’s biological relatives on both her mother’s and her father’s side. They have been attended by relatives from London, Belleville, Peterborough, the Port Perry area and Stratford. At the age of 74, Margot has a new, cherished Christmas tradition – and a new family.

23

PHOTO: NIAMH BARRY 2009